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its happening again. everything she does affects me SO SO much. i was kinda down this morning and thinking about how she was avoiding me yesterday, and today she went and sat with another person suddenly when i took the seat behind her. yeah, i understand she has a life and i’m not her keeper but somehow i was jealous. i left class early then and didn’t see anyone until the next class hours later, thinking that maybe i can brood the feeling off alone.
it didn’t work. i felt worse. then as i was exiting a building i found her just arriving in her car. i quickly half-ran to the next exit and left from there.
i felt like i wanted to cry, like my heart was bursting and i have no idea why.
i sat alone at one of the more secluded rest stops around my campus and after a while who would have guessed it, SHE CAME.
i feigned sleepiness and tried to hide my nervousness when she sat beside me.
the 40minutes she was beside me was all it took to lift me up again.
damn. i don’t even want to imagine graduation, when we won’t see each other as often anymore.