Recent Entries
Ronald Jr,
I just finished babysitting a one year old baby for about five hours. He’s a sweety, but a handful. He ran around naked for a bit cause he refused to let me put on his diaper. I had to sneak attack him to put it on. Regardless of how he acted I now have a collection of $75 from babysitting over the past week. What should I do with the money? I could save it. Maybe I could go buy some ice cream…mm.. I could maybe go buy some clothes. I think I’ll save it. Mom wants to go to Disneyland, and I’m the only person I know the doesn’t own an ipod. Literally, I’m the only one. I’m content with my mp3, though.
I can’t stop thinking about my heart. Physically, it’s fine. I’m eating healthy and exercising and blah blah blah. Emotionally, though, it’s a train wreck! My boyfriend (for lack of a better word) is a dick. He’s just mean, and I’m sick of it. We’ll never work out, so I gotta grow some balls, and end it. I can’t stop thinking about love. It’s only my brain like a fat kids on cake. I want the real deal, man. In the fast two years I’ve had four guys all say they love me. I only believe one and a half of them. The other two want sex. Brian, oh God he meant it, and I felt it. My heart still pounds when I think of him. Gerald, he was so sweet, but I’m not the one for him. Anthony justs wants me to move in with him. That ain’t gunna happen. Adam…to hell with him. I love the bastard though, but still…go to hell.
I want more friends. I’m scare to go out there and find them, though. Everyone thinks I’m weird. All in all, I am. I don’t like to hear it though. Do you know what it feels like to be pointed at and said “That weird girl, Karissa? Fuckin’ bitch. Thinks she’s tough, and beautiful.” I hate when girls think they’re not beautiful. Every girl is beautiful in her own special way. I am a bitch to be quite honest, but I don’t act like to every person I meet. I’ll act like a bitch if you piss me off, but that’s it. Otherwise, hello deary. :) . When someone calls me weird, or a bitch, or crazy it breaks my heart. My boyfriend didn’t defend me when my biggest enemy called me crazy in front of about fifty people in the lunch line. My enemy said I need counceling, and I’m a crazy bitch. My heart broke. He said I should go kill myself. I tried. I had help. Can someone tell me why he did nothing?
I work hard, and I am happy. Who am I convincing? When I’m on my own I hardly smile. I am different, everyone. Please, don’t call me weird. I’m not a can, don’t lable me.