Recent Entries
My happiest day on earth went straight to hell.
Friday, is the day I am happy, the day I can dance my unhappy week away. So after school I went home. I was full of hope and happiness. My mum and sister were a bit fed up with each other. So I stood up for my mum, because my little sister was really being a brat. But the fight was getting worser, my mum started to pull my sisters hair. So she said to me that I couldn’t buy food at the mall for tonight for her. But I refuse, I don’t want to go twice to the mall when they make up. So she took her money, and I said I’ll get it anyway . That’s why she started to yell and curse. She called me all kinds of bad names. And it gets worser, she pulled my hair because stood between her and my little sister. I didn’t want them to fight. And she pulled again and that’s when I got mad and kicked her in her stomache, not that hard. But what she did after that is running to my room and she got my clothes and started to throw them out of the closet and she even ruined one by scissor. So I started to cry and she said don’t cry like a baby. So I said explain to me what I did wrong because the fight originally wasn’t between her and me. She refuses so I said I wished you hit me harder and didn’t ruined my clothes. I also said hit me and she started to hit me in the face. And at a certain moment I held her and ask the question again. WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME? She said you want to hit, hit me than. So I pulled her hair. She started to cry, but i didn’t do it that hard. So my whole day went to hell. After that we didn’t talk, I tried to make up and explain why I was mad. I have the feeling I do everything wrong, I am the bad girl. So after all this I went to dancepractice what went all wrong. My day couldn’t be more screwed up than this. I just wanted it to be friday so bad and after this… I just can’t live anymore, I can’t take it anymore, I only tried to help, didn’t I?
I feel bad, I feel like I deserved it. Someone is punishing me. MY head hurts so much, I can’t stop crying and I don’t see the point of being alive anymore.