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It’s a whole new day with whole new feelings. Sometimes life seems like a never ending world of difrent times. One day your happy and one day your sad.. But nothing is really diffrent. Its like as soon as the morning comes your mind spins the bottle to find what kind of mood you will be in….

today was an okay day for me..
I did the basics.. took care of baby and cleaned a little.
Now I’m here at work.
Eh.. my husband is trying to get a job at my step moms work its really dangerous and very hard on him. I dont want him to work there but all he cares about is the money. He says that then I would be able to stay home. That would be nice but in the end I would rather him be safe.

I can’t wait for tomorrow I get to go to the dance club with my cousin.
ITs allways good to get a girls night out.; But I always feel so bad leaving the baby home with my hubby. I mean he doesn’t like to go out so he wouldn’t go with me anyway. His Ideal weekend is sitting home playing Call of duty anyway. SO why not play with the baby there too. Am I horrible for going? Or am I over reacting? Why am I such a f****** worry wart. All I do is worry. But really there just might not be anything to worry about.

I’m really f****** sick of me.
I’m not the kind of person that starts drama. I’m the kind of person that is way nice or way mean.. I mean I’m nice to everyone I put on this stupid fake cheerleader smile because no one wants to see someone that is depressed all the time. But on the inside I am miserable. I make myself sick.
I try to think positive harder than anyone I know but really on the inside I’m ready to crack with one more touch. I just dont know what to do anymore.