I can’t remember when’d been the last night I wouldn’t have had alcohol.
I’m drunk again. Alcohol has become my most trusted friend. The only one who is always there to comfort me, to numb me from pain. I don’t want to live, so it doesn’t matter if it’d ruin my body either.
I’m a bit scared if i’ll become alcoholic, but doubt I’ll live long enough to suffer from it. I don’t drink much at the time, and I’m never hung over, but nicely numb and dull. I want to cut myself so deep my scars’d be seen by everyone, in case there was someone who actually cared. But I don’t deserve it. I’m a horrible, selfish person. i’m on depression medication, but i haven’t taken my medication for a week either. i keep forgetting it, so it looses it’s purpose when it’s not regular.
I truly loathe myself. Why can’t I just die and be rid of it all..?
2 comments
I had to stop drinking – it temp numbs / helps u but if u drink a fare amount more than twice a week – it fucks u up – it is a depressant – u r hating urself & life – I’ve been there many many times for long periods but trust me – life can be good & u can totally change things around – I came off meds, cold turkey, last year – it really really totally fucked me up – I’m surprised & glad I’m still here – even when I’d skip a couple of days – it really messed me up – u really need to take them consistantly. U can turn things totally around – keep off drink & drugs – take meds correctly – excercise daily – get additional help – be strong & determined.
love, i hope you know the alcohol is just making you more depressed, i think maybe you should get some help before it’s to late. i’m starting to worry.