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I’m starting to believe, i can have no girlfriend, no job, no life, because of the way that i look. i have friends, i’m normal, but i’m either choosen last or not at all when things are happening. is there an actual way of get rid of this feeling?

edit answered:

P.S. A never fail attractive quality is someone who takes great care of their body. Love is an action! Love yourself (because you deserve it), and you will attract (in time) the love of another. Love is blind. Love at first sight is a myth that may happen to a select few. You don’t have to believe it right away, show yourself love through exercise and the feeling will follow (scientifically proven)! How sexy is it to hear someone say that they’re a runner or biker or mountain climber?

edit answered:

Think, right now of people like Michael Jackson and Elvis and The Beatles. In their lifetime, they are unique and powerful souls. Out of 6 billion people alive on the planet, their names and lives are exposed to the world. Not to mention their place in history for centuries after their physical life has expired! I like to think that the lesson that people like this have to offer is not their lives in particular but, rather what life itself is to any and everyone. Life is big, grand, YOURS. YOUR LIFE IS YOURS!!!! There is only ONE Nezdrovia. In the millions of years this planet has existed, the billions and billions of people that have lived and died, there will only be one of you. One person has the exact experiences, personality traits, and unique physical qualities that you posses. You understand yourself (whether you believe it or not) better than anyone. So be good to yourself!

Snowflake answered:

I think others do miss you when you stay at home, sometimes it’s just hard to say so.

Maybe you’re not invited because the people who want to invite you think that you’re going to say no anyway, so they don’t ask (but want to)

Is there anyone you can go to places just you and them, without gf’s and such ?
I find it easier with someone to go places/talk with just me and them, groups can be nice, but you don’t get to have your say as much.

You said you feel like “nothing” (which i’m sure you are NOT nothing) but what would make YOU feel like “something” or “someone” – ? What would it take for you to change that opionion of yourself?

Good things can happen with change :)

Nezdrovia answered:

ehh i’m just tired of being lonely. i could literally stay in my house for days and not be missed. i do that already. i dont go to school, and i dont have a job. i just stay home and use the internet all day. while my friends are in school, and talking to people, and such. I feel like i’m just nothing really. i even wrote a poem, called a ghost with skin.
Im never invited to go to anywhere, but if im with my two other friends ( im with most of the time) i just tag along. imagine being with your friends. you, and two others. they both have dates, and your just alone. they argued about who you should tag along with, and i just felt like i was getting in the way. stuff like this happens alot.

Snowflake answered:

Hey, it’s good to talk about stuff. I didn’t think you were someone who had given up, just someone who wanted some advice, or at least just vent freely :o)

Make sure you don’t rely on the smokes too much though ;) You prob. could meet new people without it, they’re just as nervous about saying something stupid (or whatever the case may be) But, whatever makes you feel comfortable I guess :)

What would be something you could improve, but not have to “change.” ?

Don’t worry, plenty of people, male and female have never been out with someone, all different ages. There’s no expiry date :) People at my high school (when I actually went to high school!) seemed to think it was a “compulsory” subject! :)

I say, enjoy your current freedom! :)

Nezdrovia answered:

most of the time i am smoking ha. without it, i dont think i could ever meet new people. it makes me talkative. i have learned that already tho. if people dont like me for me, i dont need them, even tho i dont want to change i feel the need to. I’ll be 18 this year, and i still haven’t had a girlfriend. i don’t think that’s sad, i just think it’s unfortunate. i dunno, i’m in a really hard situation, and it’s been like this for awhile now. I dont want to seem like someone who is on here just because i’ve given up or something. i just want to talk about it, cause I’ve been hiding it for years

Snowflake answered:

Don’t take this the wrong way – Are you stoned…. a lot? Can you do a job while stoned? I’m sure it adds to the creative process of listening and making music :)

If you’re a nice enough guy (which you certainly seem to be) then you don’t have to change anything. If people don’t like you for you, then stuff ‘em. You don’t have to change to suit them.

Just remember things aren’t always as “awesome” as they may seem – girlfriends can be whiny, complaining and demanding of time and attention (and presents) …. LOL – not missing much :)

The right girl will come to you when the timing is right.

I AM answered:

forgive me for sounding harsh but… people tend to avoid “stoners”. it doesnt matter to them whether its casual or an addiction, because in the end its smoking to them. i believe that you are a nice guy, but you might be giving off a bad impression by something that you do. when meeting a girl that you might like, you have to have a combination of blunt honesty and casual showing off. for example, when you meet her, just introduce yourself. boom. say hi, my name is… and engage in conversation. bang. since you make music, for god’s sake, brag! its what makes you special! about your looks. well, most people feel self-conscious about themselves. its normal. but when you feel that it determines your life, something is wrong. nobody gives a crap about what you look like. if they do, thats your chance to make a big deal out of it in public. chances are, they are the ones that are going to be ridiculed. i think that you might be a tad materialistic, thinking that one small factor determines everything. they dont. you DONT need a girlfriend to live a normal life. your future DOESNT depend on appearance. im not accusing you of anything, and im not insulting you. you need to “chillax” and just rub it in their faces about how you can write fuckin music.

Nezdrovia answered:

no, i’m not goth at all haha. i’m a stoner. i smoke, and listen to and make music all day. i have great friends, some ive known for 5 years+. I know im a nice guy, but other people cant see that for some reason. i’m suppose to gradaute this year, and i never had a girlfriend. ive tried, but gotten rejected so i stopped bothering it. but im with my close friends and their girlfriends and i feel left out, they know i haven’t had a girlfriend. i just dont see how this all happend. and finally i can talk about it, cause i dont know anyone to vent to

Snowflake answered:

Why can’t you have any of those things because of the way you look?

There are plenty of nice people out there.
Everyone needs to work, and employers can’t judge you on your appearance over your ability to do the job (they do get thingy if you are a bit on the goth side, but that’s their problem)

Build up your confidence in other areas. Become really good at something that you love.

At the end of the day, people need to like you for YOU.