question by Wolfe

I’m having difficulty trying to figure out why part of me is so driven to find companionship and a place and group of people that I can take care of. It seems that every person I meet and every group of people I come into contact with undergoes some sort of vetting process in my head in order for me to figure out a way to fit into a family or make one for myself. I understand to a degree that this is part of the human condition and that i’m a gregarious entity, but i’m worried that i’m falling into some sort of obsession with it. I’m single and currently trying to finish my schooling so I can get out of my town for a while and do some traveling and discovering, but some part of me is trying really really hard to find a place to call home. It’s just so unnerving that the dreams and pursuits I have in my head are clashing so much with this drive for connectedness. Not to mention, the more I think about not having a personal connection with anyone of my own volition, the more alone and depressed I start to feel. I know a little about how to mitigate that for myself, but it’s hard to fight a cycle of rumination that starts every time I find a person I wish I had a connection with.

I just wonder if anyone has any ideas about why these feelings have so much power. My head is telling me it’s just because i’m young and male, but that doesn’t tell me much about how I might frame this issue so I can learn to contend with it.
I don’t know if this belongs with the relationship questions more than with Life and family, but my guess is that they’re somewhat overlapping in this case.