Hani asked 11/04/2009:
Just need to get a little something off my chest and i think this is th ebest place to do it. My friend suprised me by telling my she is going to be getting married up where she lives in brisbane. now im almost as far away from there as possible without going over seas but i agreed to go over and be her maid of hounor. now ive applied for a small personal loan to help with this as the recession has not been kind to my working hours but the more i hear of this the more i regret going. not only does she want money put into a registar but she also expects people to provide a meal to share AND many like me have to fly in and pay to stay. i feel this is all in shambles and the bank has been lingering over my loan aplication for almost three weeks now i feel stressed to the point of breaking. And to add it all up another of my friends (much better off friend) has gone through a particually nasty break up and has decided to join me for the trip. now if the bank actually declines my loan i will not be able to go and i will be letting down everyone close to me. I would absolutly hate this as i cannot stand to let anyone down as i hate to be let down. I keep waking up every morning sick to the stomach having bad dreams about the trip and in general just being really irritable. i try hard not to take it out on everyone else but it gets really really hard not to sometimes.
2 answers
FMEE answered:
You have to get one thing straight, the only one you let down in is you. You are not able to do what you want to do. You friends need to rely that today this kind of thing is being looked at as in bad taste. People of means are not doing this any more because it is showing the different between the haves and have not. This is going to put you so far in debt that it is not to be expected of you to do. This is going to cost a lot of money up front and by the time it is paid off it is going to cost a lot, lot more. Let you friend down as gentile as possible but you can not afford to go.
atula answered:
I personally think hat was not a pretty good thing to do by your friend. She must realise it is not possible to attend a wedding by spending so much….and if she is really a friend, she should have known the situation you are in….
Anyways, the way you tell it, it seems you are the shoulder every single friend of your cries on when in trouble…do try to toughen up a little bit..you should not feel guilty for this trip whether you go or not and if they are all your real friends they shoud undestand….