freethinker12 asked 08/16/2010:
My father drinks alot. he sad he would stop but he hasnt and today he kicked my mother out of the house again. And then he hit his gf with a spatula and she was crying and im just a little worried about him. i have tried to talk to him and write him letters but he just wont listen. What should i do?
2 answers
snowbelle7 answered:
i’d give up trying to talk to him. Can you live with your mom? (this would be for your safety) Then you should try to get him into A & A or something… he needs help, and he’s not going to listen to you. I’m sorry to say.
another friend answered:
are you safe? it sounds like you don’t live with him, is that correct?
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assuming you’re safe, there may not be a lot you can do. until he admits his problem.
You can call together an “intervention”. Its basically getting together everyone who knows him well (ur mom, his gf, you, his friends, etc) and sitting him down and telling him that his drinking is hurting everyone. but it can be hard to pull off something like that. if you do it, sometimes that’s enough to get the person to realize the truth….
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I would make good boundaries with him. It’s good for you to say something like “Dad, I know you sometimes get excited when you drink, so I’m gonna leave whenever you start to drink. Period.” Then at least he’ll know where you stand on the subject, and if you’re firm in your stance, he’ll learn that he has to choose between drinking and seeing his daughter…which will help him see how drinking is a problem. (again assuming you don’t live with him- but even if you do, you can still make some kinda rule with him).