question by effed up

Sister, I was in a situation much like your’s. I grew up in an abusive home. I left my family and joined the military to run from the life that was killing me. I thought it would help me but every problem that I ran from came with me. I gained self-confidence but it was a false one. I was no better than I was before. When I got married I got sent over-seas 6 weeks after we were married and she had to stay in the states. All I could take was my USMC uniforms, and my gear. The only personal items I could take was very minimal (a couple pictures a book and a CD player) in early 2002. The book I took with me was a bible that my mom sent me. Since I hated the idea of church I thought I would read it for myself to see what it said. I believed in a god but I had no idea he cared about me. When I joined the Marines it was to run away and die in battle. I had no idea that God was chasing me. Sister He’s chasing after you now but you gotta stop trying to control your own life cause no one can control their life. That’s just not possible. Can you stop a train from going just because its not convenient? I can’t. But I know someone who will do it for you. If you know the driver of that train and that driver loves you, I promise you he would stop that train-of-life for you. I thought God was just a being in existence but I started reading that Bible and some strangers (christians) told me where I should start reading. They also explained to me That Jesus saved them. I didn’t understand that but I do now. I was beaten as a kid weekly. I was dislexic to the point I could not read and cheated my way through school. I studdered. I never smiled. I was beyond weard. But God took me away from my friends and family so I would get to know him. He Loves you Sister! He’s going after you because He just wants to talk to you. Give God a chance. He just wants to be your Best Friend! He’s Rich and he has all power and yet he loves the Poor. Jesus Loves you so much he would die for you and he did die for you but he was stronger than death and he lives again. Talk to him. Tell him your proplems. Tell Him you’re sorry for everything you did wrong and ask him to forgive you. Ask him to show you his love. Ask him to take care of you. He will, under one condition: All you have to do is give yourself to him and he’ll never leave you. He’ll be right there at your side. Jesus said in the Bible “Come to me all who labor and are heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke [teaching] upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Jesus loves you sister. Your problems are more than you can handle and no person can carry you through this but Jesus can. Give it over to God and He’ll help you. Just tell him you need his help. He’ll help you if you really mean it. He helped me and he changed my life. He’s the most important person in my life and I have everything I never thought I could have. I have no debt. My cars are paid off. My house is nearly paid for. I have a good job and I never went to school beyond HS. He changed my life in every way. He even helped me get healed of my addictions and he’ll do this for you. God bless you.

Well now that old dude was pretty harsh but alot of people dont understand how some people are. Not everyone is the same thank god! Your only 19 that’s great you have alot of potential. Even if you were the devil incarcerated you are not evil. If you really want your life to be different you need to take the bull by the horn. Check into adoptions even an open one in your family. Think about the military it could help you develop self discipline. Which sounds like what you are lacking. Alot of young kids today dont know how to be an adult because they are not taught. I have an 18 year old living with me because her parents threw her out as soon as she reached age. Which is fine yea but she didn’t know how to cook anything except microwave and no laundry skills hell she didn’t even have her drivers license yet not to mention she had no idea about money at all but she has come a long way since her birthday luckily she is a sweet girl and makes friends easily so her life is on track now she is trying to figure out which school to go to. You have to make the choices for your life plan and that’s what you need to do sit and ask yourself where you want to be in 1 yr. 5yrs. 10 yrs. Then and i know this is the hard part GET UP AND DO IT NO ONE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU. YOU CAN DO IT. Trust me once you figure out that getting things done yourself makes you feel empowered and in control of you there will be no stopping you. Good luck.

There has to be a reason your family dont or wont help you! they prolly kept trying to guide you and you followed the foolish path of self destruction which is what put you where you are now. I am not slamming you but you need to put it in perspective!
how can someone who doesnt like you cause all of this, and why would they try?
They MADE you fail school?,work,family, how does someone else MAKE you fail you are in charge of you no one else you are deflecting blame from yourself to someone else for decisions YOU made in YOUR life you need to rethink and adjust.
accept the errors of your path go to your family and explain to them that You know you brought this on YOURSELF and ask them if they can help you fix it now that you know this.
NO one MAKES us do anything you either agreed with it or you just went along with the flow either way it is on you and no one else, stay with my wife and I for a month you will be an adult in a grand hurry. Again, I am not putting you down at all I was young once too but blaming some one else will never work to explain away your own failures. accept that you are where you are because of YOU and things will move along alot better. trust me.

Effed..you are young and have lived a life full of hardship to this point. To just simply give up is to allow all those people who turned away from you the opportunity to say ‘I told you so’. Don’t let that happen. Find a good community health center, since money is an issue, and have them do a full medical and psychology work up on you. Maybe, there is a medical reason, you can’t get focused. I understand where you are in life. I, too, share all those same thoughts and feelings. And, I’m forty. I been feeling it way longer than you but I won’t give up. I’m fighting for my opportunity to tell all those people..first, ‘I told you so. I would make it’ and secondly..to kiss my whole entire ass. So, keep asking for help. Keep surviving. Keep praying(if you have a higher power). Keep fighting.

Are you desperate enough to tell you story coherently?